Jun 22, 2020 | PVC Women
During this COVID season, I have been filling blank journal pages with lots of conversations to God about how I feel about pretty much anything I can think of. I would usually meet up with friends in person, and talk to them about my feelings and thoughts, but the “shelter at home” forced me to sit alone and be with my thoughts and feelings.
Every night, I would sit on my porch while the sun began to set and rock in my chair… preparing myself to talk to God. I talked to Him about everything that mattered to me. I would ask God, “What do You think about that?” I didn’t get a quick, or audible answer, but I would think about what the Bible says about what I care about.
I also talked to God about my mess-ups, I have learned that He really wants me to bring those kinds of things too…. not just the pretty “neat” things…. but the messy, imperfect things, the things I cringe at. I am not proud of these things, but I believe He loves me despite them. I am convinced that where God is, I am safe. I am safe to be myself and to bring everything to Him and offer it as a sacrifice. The courage, the fear, the sin, and the victories… EVERYTHING!
The point I am trying to make is that God wants YOU, all of you, and He enjoys listening and caring about you.
Allowing myself to be in His presence, unashamed and unbothered, has been so liberating! After each conversation I have with God, I feel safer, and more loved
Truths I know…
- I know He will direct my path (Proverbs 3:5-6).
- I know He will give me what I need (Psalm 23).
- I know He loves me (John 3:16).
- I know His spirit will help me follow Him (Romans 8:26-27).
I know these things, because I choose to believe what He says in the Bible. My feelings may not believe it but I choose to believe despite how I feel.
Songs that Inspired this blog:
Life- Hillsong United
“Take my heart
Take my soul
Take my mind and I will
Give my thoughts
Give my all
Give my life to follow You
Take my hands
Take my breath
Take my dreams and I will
Lift my eyes
Lift my faith
Lift my voice and worship You”
As You Find Me- Hillsong United
“To think You don’t need a single thing
And still You want my heart”
Build My Life- Housefires
“And I will build my life upon Your love
It is a firm foundation
I will put my trust in You alone
And I will not be shaken”
Jun 17, 2020 | PVC Women
For the past 9 weeks I’ve been working from home and have experienced the whirlwind of blurred boundaries that I’ve worked so hard to create. I learned through many years of intentionality to leave my work at work as much as possible and be at home when I’m at home. I’ve been intentional about wherever I am being “all there”. This is not an easy task, and I still fail all the time- it’s hard to be still in a sea of distractions…social media, television and other “noise” flying past our ears and eyes almost constantly. The first few weeks of working from home were INSANE. Sleeping, eating, working and never leaving my house day in and day out took quite the toll on me and I learned lots of lessons.
During those hard times, instead of giving into the mindset of defeat I chose to lean in. Lean in to what God had to say, lean in to the lessons that God wanted to teach me, lean in to the processing of my feelings, lean in to grabbing a pen and a journal to help process my feelings.
Then, a few weeks in, I finally got a rhythm that worked for me. I found a good balance of outside activities like riding my bike and talking walks. I would work for a few hours, take a break, then come back and work. Once I was finished for the day, I closed my laptop and did other things that needed to get done around my house.
I took a deep breathe and thought…“Ah, now I know how to do this. I’ve got this!” A few more weeks passed…. My structure began to crumble. I found myself feeling so “meh”. Apathy was seeping in. I was still doing my work, but I was just going through the motions. I wasn’t excited or passionate about it, I just did what I had to do. I stopped doing things I enjoy, like reading, crafting, doodling on my iPad, listening to music, etc. I began to just go through each day with no joy, day in and day out. I noticed that my joy was gone and decided to do something about it. I took out my journal and I began to write and talk to God about how I was feeling. I felt Him say “Stop being so apathetic and choose empathy”. My pen stopped in its tracks. I grabbed my phone and looked up the exact definitions of the words and dug into what that meant to me.
Choosing empathy over apathy means…
- Choosing to remember the heart behind the matter
- Choosing to trust God even when there are no “answers”
- Choosing to check in on friends and to stay past the “how are yous” and to see how they really are feeling
- Choosing to give yourself grace when you don’t finish all your tasks
- Choosing the right things over your feelings
I want to encourage you to choose empathy.
Let’s be the difference in this broken world. Let’s spread hope, joy, laughter, and most importantly, the gospel. Let’s love like Jesus, especially when it’s hard, especially when we don’t “feel” like it. Let’s choose empathy.
Jun 2, 2020 | PVC Women
It is not often we collectively find ourselves in the same season as those around us. While we each might be going through the COVID experience differently, all of us are having to find our way through something unexpected, different & new. What we knew is gone. We don’t really know what’s ahead.
Have you ever been through a major, unexpected, life shift before? If so, you might be experiencing some familiar feelings, thoughts or concerns. If you haven’t, welcome to a New Normal. The place and time where things are turned upside down. Where we have to look beyond ourselves and our plans to find understanding, direction, comfort and security.
During this season, I have dived even deeper into God’s truth. He has reminded me that He is still with us and still at work. He’s brought my attention to five scripture passages to encourage me. I pray they encourage you too.
• Ecclesiastes 3:1 “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.”
• Isaiah 43:18-19a “Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?”
• Hebrews 13:8 “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”
• 1 Peter 5:7 “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”
I love how The Passion Translation says “Pour out all your worries and stress upon him and leave them there, for he always tenderly cares for you.”
• James 5:13a “Are any of you suffering hardships? You should pray.”
As I am walking into my new normal, I hear God saying, “I am here! What you’re going through isn’t a surprise to me. There is no need to look back. Follow me into what I am creating. Don’t be afraid, I’m here with you. Tell me what you’re thinking and feeling. I promise it will help.”
As I listen to God, I write my prayers to him. As I write, I find new perspective and I am strengthened.
Sweet friend, as much as we long for it, I don’t know if getting back to “normal” is God’s desire for us. As we walk into the future there will be more transition and transformation. Our circumstances won’t be the same, and neither will we. Thankfully, we do not walk alone! I pray as you walk with God into your new normal you are filled with peace from the unchanging truth that you are a daughter of the one true king, and are loved beyond measure.
May 25, 2020 | PVC Women
May 20, 2020 | PVC Women
Psalm 139:13-16
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was a made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
I don’t know about you, but some days I’m a mess! The struggle to control my thoughts, words, and face is real!! But on my worst days, I’m grateful for the words of this Psalm – the reminder that I am fearfully and wonderfully made by a loving God. Did you get that? I’m not wonderfully made simply because I strive and work hard to be wonderful. Rather I’m the work of a loving Father who has a plan in which I’m invited to be a part.
I don’t know if you have ever knitted before or watched someone else knit. But if you have, you know that the fingers of the crafter touches EVERY SINGLE STITCH and not one stitch happens by accident. In the same way, you and I have been carefully designed and are strategically being perfected. Not something just thrown together with a hope for the best. But something that is intimately and tenderly held in the fingertips of God and being beautifully formed. The Amplified Bible says, “as if embroidered with many colors”!
So submit yourself again to Jesus. Fall into his loving hands with complete abandon. All your days have been ordained by God – including this one! So as you face this day remember: you are loved and you have value. You are His colorful masterpiece!
Personal Reflection:
At the beginning of every day this week, surrender your day to God and ask Him to help you submit to His work in you. At the end of every day, carve out a few minutes before you fall asleep to reflect on where you saw God at work in you.
> How did God convict me today? This is God teaching us a better way to live.
> How did God help me today? This is God giving us the ability to do what He’s asked us to do.
Then, fall asleep knowing that you are a beautiful masterpiece held tenderly in the hands of a loving father!
May 12, 2020 | PVC Women
For me, being a writer means that I’m a feeler. Sometimes, my feelings can become so big that they push out truth from my mind. Right now, it’s easy for me to slip into anxious patterns, to spend my day worried about my family, my students, and the future. In these moments, when my emotions feel like a tidal wave about to break, I go to the Psalms.
I love when David speaks to his soul like in Psalm 42:5—
“Why, my soul, are you so downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God
for I will yet praise Him,
my Savior and my God.”
I love that David is brave enough to stare down his big feelings. He is downcast. He is disturbed. But he doesn’t allow himself to stay there. He puts faith in the character of God, over his feelings. David reminds his soul of who God is. It’s a practice that I do in my writing.
I want to share with you what I’m telling my soul in this season. I also want to challenge you to sit down and write encouragement to your own soul. Our feelings are real, but the faithfulness of God is more real.
Soul, in this season
of quiet rooms and streets,
let’s not be quiet.
When my heart fails and worries overtake me,
let’s remember,
God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
When TV spews its litany
of bad news and unknowns,
let’s remember,
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
When it’s easier to groan
about unfulfilled dreams and unmet plans,
Soul, let’s sing,
“He makes a way in the wilderness,
brings us to streams of living water.”
When I’m afraid and sad
and miss my friends so much I ache,
sing Soul,
“Surely you are with me
until the very end of this age.”
Soul, decide. Choose.
Put a new hymn of praise
on your lips.
God is still good.
