During this COVID season, I have been filling blank journal pages with lots of conversations to God about how I feel about pretty much anything I can think of. I would usually meet up with friends in person, and talk to them about my feelings and thoughts, but the “shelter at home” forced me to sit alone and be with my thoughts and feelings.
Every night, I would sit on my porch while the sun began to set and rock in my chair… preparing myself to talk to God. I talked to Him about everything that mattered to me. I would ask God, “What do You think about that?” I didn’t get a quick, or audible answer, but I would think about what the Bible says about what I care about.
I also talked to God about my mess-ups, I have learned that He really wants me to bring those kinds of things too…. not just the pretty “neat” things…. but the messy, imperfect things, the things I cringe at. I am not proud of these things, but I believe He loves me despite them. I am convinced that where God is, I am safe. I am safe to be myself and to bring everything to Him and offer it as a sacrifice. The courage, the fear, the sin, and the victories… EVERYTHING!
The point I am trying to make is that God wants YOU, all of you, and He enjoys listening and caring about you.
Allowing myself to be in His presence, unashamed and unbothered, has been so liberating! After each conversation I have with God, I feel safer, and more loved
Truths I know…
I know these things, because I choose to believe what He says in the Bible. My feelings may not believe it but I choose to believe despite how I feel.
Songs that inspired this blog:
Life- Hillsong United
“Take my heart
Take my soul
Take my mind and I will
Give my thoughts
Give my all
Give my life to follow You
Take my hands
Take my breath
Take my dreams and I will
Lift my eyes
Lift my faith
Lift my voice and worship You”
As You Find Me- Hillsong United
“To think You don’t need a single thing
And still You want my heart”
Build My Life- Housefires
“And I will build my life upon Your love
It is a firm foundation
I will put my trust in You alone
And I will not be shaken”